Radio Head Games and Douchebags

Julia and I were really poor for a few weeks. Our contractor at the Children's Hospital was over a month overdue in paying us. We were fortunate to get a healthy tax break back from Canada this Spring, otherwise we'd be borrowing money right now or dipping into savings. During this drought, as I try to become Canadian and have a baby, I learned of Radiohead's coming to town. I didn't have any money for these pricey tickets. But now that I do, I'm surfing craigslist. This was my first attempt a couple days ago:

He was initially offering for $50 or best offer. I don't know what I did wrong. All I know is that Julia will kill me if I die before seeing Radiohead play. She's having a baby and insisting I see the band. So I continue my search and email this next guy, who I thought was selling two tix for 140 dollars. But then I realize he's selling them each for 140 and emailed him back saying no thanks. I thanked him for doubling the ticket price, as well, which was a mildly inflammatory thing to say, but it rendered a response:
Clearly I was in the wrong, so I tried to expand my threshold for financial bleeding. It's definitely recommended to buy a concert ticket as soon as they go on sale, especially for Radiohead. That way you don't have to deal with douchebags like this fellow. Wait a tic -- Let's analyze his BS reply. He'd pay $500 to see Radiohead, but that's his ceiling. He seemed to be suggesting that great experiences like going to this show really have no price tag. But $500 was all he was willing to shill out. AND he would fly to London to do it. Let's see,

Seems the cheapest flight I can find rings just under $1500 before taxes. Lucky for him it's a non-stop flight. So we're talking two grand at this point with this fellow, all for Thom and Johnny and the gang. His true fandom would be tested. It's not like Thom is going to know about all the hard work and hard cash this upstanding man put in just to see him play for a couple hours. That's dedication.

I made sure to let my new friend know about it, too.
And you know Jack Johnson would do it, too, because he's a cool dude, unlike this scalper assclown. You know a response is warranted after this email. I'm picking a fight now, look at me go. His reply was surprisingly, but uselessly, informative:
Not a scalper by trade, perhaps, but by habit? At least he put some effort and research into his reply. Good man. But, clearly a dead end for me. The next person I emailed had E-tickets at $100 each, and it seemed that she (Rebecca of the Kato Group) lived in a central time zone. Not even in Vancouver. What's the first rule of Craigslist?
Right. I am hoping that this search turns out well . . .